“Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow, and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies.” -Leo Tolstoy
This morning I read horrendous accounts of a procedure 51% of Americans feel should be legal only “under certain circumstances” and 19% believe should be illegal “under all circumstances.” A minor may have it done without parental consent, the US Supreme Court legitimized it 42 years ago, and though it remains one of the most hotly contested issues of our time, it’s practice is legally protected and at times even celebrated.
Under the most sterile and gentle of circumstances abortion is, to my thinking, terrible. But these details went from terrible to outright ghastly.
Conversing with an abortion provider at Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas in Austin, a man with a hidden camera videotaped the doctor describing one of her colleagues who’s interested in the organ development of the babies she aborts. The recorded dialogue include this:
“She’ll pull out, like, kidneys and heart. The heart we frequently see at nine weeks. She always looks for it.”
“Just like for fun?” the undercover man asked.
“Well, it’s cute”, another abortion worker chimed in.
In other undercover footage of the 38th annual meeting of the National Abortion Federation last April, an abortionist stated “If you’re a provider, you can’t ignore the fetus, right, because the fetus is your marker of how well – how good a job you did.” She went on to admit that “abortion causes violence,” and that the unborn baby is “a person,” but claimed that “killing” was “the most important thing I could do with my life.”
And in other footage the senior director of medical services at Planned Parenthood is seen “sipping wine and munching salad as she described less ‘crunchy’ forms of abortion that allow her to ‘try to get it [the baby] all intact’” for the sake
of harvesting.
All of which is hard to read; harder still to imagine. But while reacting to the atrocity of a doctor describing the “cuteness” of an aborted baby’s heart with all the delicacy of an Auschwitz surgeon, I couldn’t help but think of the growing campaign to outlaw any form of counseling or ministry, performed from a Biblically conservative position, for people who have unwanted same-sex attractions. One is on its way to being outlawed. The other isn’t going anywhere. And comparing the two can leave you feeling a little crazy.
Behind Closed Doors
There are ministries and Christian counselors across the country serving people who say “I’m homosexually attracted, I’m a born again believer, I don’t want to give in to these attractions. Can you help?”
And we try. We try by helping them understand how to respond to those attractions when they arise, how to integrate fully with others in the faith, how to develop and sustain healthy relationships, how to resist deeply ingrained feelings, how to become less anxious about feelings that are involuntary and for which the person is blameless, how to enhance their emotional and sexual intimacy if they’re married, how to assess whatever potential they may have for heterosexual response, and to live a celibate life (if celibacy is the proper option and it often is) in the fullest, richest way.
The Bible informs our positions and guides our practices, which generally include strong encouragement to our clients to deepen their roots in their local church, maintain and/or correct their personal relationships, and above all, invest in their intimacy with God.
Behind our closed doors, there’s Biblically based talk and guidance. Behind the abortionist’s closed doors, there’s a life being terminated. And we’re controversial.
So controversial, in fact, that laws have spread from state to state banning the practice of what’s often (and usually incorrectly) called “Reparative Therapy” or “Conversion Therapy” for minors. (Similar laws banning the practice even for adults are in the wings.)
In California, for example, Senate Bill 1172 declares any efforts at changing a teenager’s sexual orientation to be unprofessional conduct and cause for discipline. In its original form the bill intended to also ban such therapy even for adults, but the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and the California Psychological Association rightly protested that it would interfere with the client/therapist relationship. But it’s only a matter of time before legislation is introduced to make any form of counseling, which supports a repentant homosexual’s goal, illegal.
Nobody’s Always Right
Part of the problem lies with the idea that anyone counseling or ministering to a person with unwanted same-sex attractions is performing “Reparative Therapy.” Actually, the term rightfully applies only to a licensed mental health professional, addressing homosexuality from a traditional psychoanalytic viewpoint, believing it springs from early family dynamics, and that the orientation can be changed to some extent.
That’s a description not applicable to the majority of Christian ministries, or Biblical counselors, who work with such clients. Not that reparative therapy is anathema to such counselors; at least, it shouldn’t be. These days it’s becoming almost chic to throw reparative therapy under the bus, since it’s fallen into such extreme disfavor with the public, the term itself often used as a pejorative.
But its practitioners were serving a population the Church at large was ignoring for decades, offering guidance and support when little of either could be found anywhere else. For that reason alone we owe reparative therapists some gratitude and respect.
Still, the RT label doesn’t fit well on most of us, not necessarily because of essential disagreements with the practice, but because of the less clinical and more Biblical approach most of us take.
And yes, some have taken it in all the wrong directions. Over the years I’ve known of some (thankfully, very few) who advocated bizarre counseling techniques like exorcisms, extensive hugging between counselor and client, erotic massage, or undressing for the sake of – well, I never did figure that one out. Anyone seeking help should run, not walk, from any ministry leader or counselor who suggests such things. But very, very few ever would.
Nor should counselors or ministries make sweeping promises of change. After all, no responsible pastor would promise his flock that if they came to Jesus, they’d be freed from all temptations and sinful tendencies. Rather, he would rightfully promise they’d be given the strength to resist such tendencies, and that their power would diminish in their lives. That’s Christianity 101; nothing extravagant about it.
Likewise, most of us encourage our clients not to expect eradication of their homosexual feelings. We consider such feelings to be symptomatic of fallen nature (often referred to as The Flesh in Pauline theology) and the scripture guarantees that a war between the flesh and spirit is business as usual for the believer. (Galatians 5:17) The presence of sinful impulses is assumed (I John 1:8) while the power of sin is diminished. (Romans 6:14)
I remember telling a reporter from the Los Angeles Times back in 1990 that I had never had a client leave my office saying, “Wow, I have absolutely no homosexual thoughts or fantasies.” Well, 25 years later, that still holds true.
So complaints that a counselor or minister promised changes that didn’t happen, or subjected the client to practices that were strange or even violating, should be taken seriously. But horrible as those cases may be, they also happens in virtually all helping professions. Among teachers, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists, examples abound of practitioners making false promises, abusing their patients, or practicing general quackery. Case by case they’re rightfully disciplined, but no one suggests that the sins of some prove the guilt of all.
But Change Happens
Still, saying no change occurs is at least as wrong as saying complete
change occurs.
If a person’s behavior changes, he changed. If a person’s identity shifts from his sexual desires to his position in Christ, that’s change.
If a person finds potential for sexual arousal to someone of the opposite sex, that’s change. If a married man reengages with his wife sexually and emotionally, that’s change. If a person finds his sexual attractions arise less frequently and with less power, that’s change.
And if a person is generally enhanced relationally, emotionally, and spiritually, that’s change. Is that really so hard to grasp?
Behind our closed doors, life often happens. Behind the abortionist’s closed doors, life always ends. The law protects one. It’s quickly becoming an adversary to
the other.
All of which brings to mind John Lennon, who I seldom quote, but who was at least once spot on when he sang:
“Nobody told me there’d be days like these. Strange days, indeed.”
